Once Upon A Time In The West (Midlands)

It's been two months since WebsterGotts last posted. So bloody what? They're not machines you know. So, after battling many holidays, jobs and emotional problems, WG bring you their latest adventure in the lonely art world.

If WebsterGotts were builders, they'd be labelled cowboys. But they are not builders (even if they behave like it on occasion). They are construction workers of the metaphysical, if you will. Artisans of the cultural soul, if I may. Rope-swingers of inclusive creation, if they might.

But sometimes art can just create problems, as we will find out....





"There Ain't No Art In Bearwood" was created for the exhibition "Where The Deer And The Antelope Play" by Mandy Rees and WebsterGotts, at Crowd6 Gallery, Bearwood, Birmingham. www.crowd6.org.uk for more details.

Art Warning

Webstergotts would like to apologise once again for not making much art in the recent weeks. Howevever, there is a good reason for this:

Rejection Dejection

This week WebsterGotts' dreams went down in flames. They discovered that they had been turned down for yet another exhibition proposal.

Perhaps this indicates that they should stop making such appalling and childish 'artwork'.

Your comments please....

The Coffee Mile

WebsterGotts feel they have been out of touch with the art community of late. This is a bad thing in the art industry. When artists distance themselves from other artists it can affect their careers. Obviously the most important thing about being an artist is hanging out in the right places and going to parties to pretend to be interested in other artists' work. In short, if no-one knows who you are, you're a nobody.

To reaquaint themselves with the intellecultural, metroboho, supercontemporary, city-lazing creatives, WebsterGotts decided to embark on Sheffield's world-famous 'Coffee Mile'. Ecclesall Road has Europe's highest concentration of coffee shops per square inch. Surely there must be shitloads of artists along there. WebsterGotts need to broaden their range of known artist hang-outs.

So WebsterGotts went to every establishment that sold espressos and allowed them to sit down (preferably reclining on leather sofas) along the 'Coffee Mile'.

Card-Bored

Dogging In Peckham

As mentioned in the previous post, WebsterGotts were invited by Space Station 65 Gallery to a fantastic day out at Peckham Pet-Tastic 3, a festival and picnic for dogs and dog owners.

They brought with them their own breeds, Duchess and Pepe. To make some additional doggy chums, they filled their filthy boiler suits with squeaky dog toys. Armed with these suits of canine confusion, WebsterGotts were able to diffuse doggy conflicts and entertain the less aggressive mutts.

Pepe and Duchess also made many new friends.



Pepe is a Pygmy Burmese Wrottwangler, shown above meeting Todger the French Mongolian Water Labrador.



Duchess is a fine example of a Blue Mountain Mastikk. She enjoyed being ragged around by this Transylvanian Short-Winged Poodle (above).



Pepe proved to be a family dog, a big hit with children and ex-wives alike (see video below).



All in all, WebsterGotts had a grand day out, and are now confident that they know shitloads about dogs and how they tick.

Thanks to Rachael and Jo, and everyone else who took part in Peckham Pet-Tastic 3.

Peckham Pet-Tastic 3

WebsterGotts wish to invite you to Peckham Pet-Tastic 3, a fancy dress picnic for dogs and dog owners, organised by Rachael House of Space Station 65 Gallery.

WebsterGotts have never owned a dog. In fact, dogs make them both a little bit nervous. They will travel to Peckham on Saturday 23rd June to bridge the gap between artist and canine.

To do this, they have engineered and supplied special treats for both dogs and their dog owners.


• WebsterGotts will become human dog toys, so that no dog can resist them!

• Duchess and Pepe will accompany Alexis on leads all day. They are specially designed for dogs of all ages to enjoy thoroughly. Don’t be afraid to introduce your pet pals to these two!

• And for the owners, there are special presents from Scott’s bin!


Please come along and take time to introduce yourself and your dog to WebsterGotts, show them how dogs are a man’s best friend, and teach them to be a dog’s best friend.




Here's the info in crude copied-and-pasted-from-an-email format:

Peckham Pet-Tastic 3
a fancy dress picnic for dogs

Saturday June 23rd, 2.00pm-5.00pm,
Peckham Square, (outside Peckham Library) Peckham High Street SE15

There’s no place like home.
Once again, Rachael House invites you to make a costume, dress up your dog, and bring it along to Peckham Pet-Tastic 3, the canine art social event of the year.

During 2006 Rachael House’s Peckham Pet-Tastic was enticed far away. In May, dogs dressed up and congregated at Hå gamle prestegard in Norway. In August, Bexhill Bow-Wow transformed the De La Warr Pavilion into a gaudy throbbing mass of dogs and humans. In 2007 we even went to neighbouring Lewisham.

Now Peckham Pet-Tastic is back where we belong, in Peckham Square, our spiritual home. Bigger, bolder and even more extravagantly beautiful.

We are excited to be joined this year by artists Marcia Farquhar (well, her stand in, she can’t be there in person), WebsterGotts, Daniel Lehan, Simon Ould and Laura Wilson. While you exchange tales of stepping in it with Marcia’s doppelganger, duo WebsterGotts will desperately be attempting to befriend your dog. You won’t believe your eyes as Simon transforms himself into a canine war hero. Daniel will be headlining dogs in the news as Laura feeds you popcorn and reminisces about dogs of the silver screen. You may also dress a dog-shaped biscuit with icing, decorate a dog mask and become part of the pack, have your face painted to more closely resemble a dog and pose for photos with a Pound Puppy.

As if that’s not enough, there is also a display of dog masks embellished by artists Edwina Ashton, Marc Baines, Gayle Chong Kwan, Susan Collis, Craig Conlan, Jo David, Sarah Doyle, Amanda Francis, Sam Jones, Lady Lucy, Rebecca Nassauer, Stephen Nelson, Woodrow Phoenix, Hester Reeve, Rosemary Shirley, Andrea Stokes, Shane Waltener and Annie Whiles.

The face of PPT3 is Onion the miniature bull terrier, artist’s muse and star of film and video. Rachael has made Onion a glamorous Lady Luck costume for PPT3. Make sure you pay Onion your respects, and good fortune will certainly follow you.

Peckham Pet-Tastic 3, once more with feeling.

www.spacestationsixtyfive.com www.peckhampet-tastic.com www.oniondog.com

Buses: 12, 36, 37, 63, 78, 136, 171, 177, 312, 343, 345, 363, 381, 436, 484, P12, P13
Rail: Peckham Rye, Queens Road (from London Bridge)
Tube: Oval, Elephant and Castle or New Cross Gate (then bus)

Free Admission. Ground level, wheelchair access.

Peckham Pet-Tastic 3 is a Space Station Sixty-Five Satellite Project. For more information
email: rachaelhouse@btinternet.com

Peckham Pet-Tastic 3 is dedicated to the memory of Deen David, her support helped to make it all possible.

Kindly supported by Bryan Smith, SMITHS Pet Stores, 57 North Cross Rd. East Dulwich SE22 & Grunts for The Arts.

Millenium Galleries Held The Greatest Exhibition Ever

Just the other day, WebsterGotts visited the best exhibition ever, and decided they must show it on their blog.

At Millenium Galleries, they learned that Sheffield is the most important place on earth.

Celebrating 150 years of business and football in Sheffield, this exhibition confirmed some facts that WebsterGotts were unaware of;

* Sheffield INVENTED Football.

* Sheffield is the HOME of all Music.

* Sheffield is the BIRTHPLACE of Business.

* Sheffield is one of the most technologicaly ADVANCED cities in the world.

The exhibition consisted of the most visually informative display boards that depicted these vital legacies Sheffield has given mankind. Visitors were treated to first-hand sensory experiences of music and football, and also a spectacular insight into what the FUTURE of Sheffield will look like.....

The layout of the show was stunning, and over half the gallery was given over to corporate sponsorship and planning information. WebsterGotts learned that a key part of Sheffield's cultural heritage and shopping oasis will be brilliantly wiped clean and replaced by large glass buildings housing the sort of big brand names that simple folk can only dream of. What 'Moor' could Sheffield ask for?

This sets the example for WHAT galleries should show, HOW they should show it and that the most important thing in art (and what people really want to see) is corporate business sponsorship.

Balloon Party

WebsterGotts wish to apologise for their recent laziness. Here is a video of some balloons.

Monitor Badge Project

Monitor are a Leeds based artist group, with whom WebsterGotts have had dealings with a few times. Monitor are currently hosting the Badge Project, where they invite you to explore Leeds and collect a set of nine pin-badges between 14th-27th May. Each badge has been designed in response to a postcode area of Leeds by selected artists: John Hall, Louise Atkinson, Rebecca Strain, Alexander Stephenson, Adam Bridgland, Helen Grundy, Mike Lewis, and Simon Canaway.

(More info on their project at their website HERE).

WebsterGotts were invited to make a new piece of work for The Badge Project launch party.

So here is that piece of work, a video of WebsterGotts taking part in the Badge Project. It was filmed on the day of the launch party, and hastily edited and finished about 10 minutes before it had to be shown. It is entitled 'Let's Do It'.



Monitor would like it to be known that the Badge Project is not really that hard to complete, and that WebsterGotts are "slackers" for only managing to collect 4 of the badges....

"It's so good I don't even know what it is."

This morning, WebsterGotts visited the Sausage Ink House Collective studios. Here they met the two founding members, Chumpsy and Udder Boy (their real names are a secret), Sheffield's original 'Underground Redesigners'. These two have been hailed as graffitti heroes of the North, even representing 'The North' in the National Draw-Off finals.

We wanted to know a little bit about them, to scratch the surface of their childish drawings, and find out how they came to be taken seriously.



U B: "We draw our inspiration from politics, the World around us, urban redevelopment, that sort of thing."

Ch: "We watch a lot of shit cartoons on Nickelodeon too."

U B: "I think most people find our art more accessible because there's not much to think about."

Ch: "Yeah, there's not really much depth in what we produce. You can just look at it and you get it."



U B: "Sausage Ink House have recently had some interest from the Sheffield Council to decorate the entire pavement for Sheffield's Moor redevelopment."

Ch: "It's great. You know, a few years ago loads of us had warrants out for our arrest, for criminal damage. There were posters up with examples of our tags and rewards for any information on us! Now the council are actually asking us to redesign public property."

U B: "Now the council understands that what we do is Art in it's purest form, we can draw dicks and tits wherever we like!"

Ch: "The other day I was redesigning a shop front, when the owner ran out and told me I was shit, that I should fuck off or she'd call the police. I replied 'Do you know who I am? I've just tripled the value of your property!'. Then I gave her the rods and did one."



U B: "Everyone thinks that it's only us who've redesigned the whole city, but there's actually shitloads of other redesigners out there. Fortunately their work looks exactly like ours, and we totally respect that."

Ch: "We just want to thank all those in other cities who are changing the face of urban spaces to look all cluttered and cartoony, just like we are. Soon everywhere will look the same! And that would be mad wouldn't it? There'd be cows and pirates and sexy cartoon girls and cute worms with big eyes and freaky creatures all over all the bars and shops and vans in all the cities!"

Looking around at the Sausage Ink House studios, WebsterGotts can see many great examples of this awesome subculture. Far from being the rambling scrawlings of hopeless morons, these are the products of backward-thinking underground geniuses. It's great to see that these guys are the Art Ambassadors of The North. They've gone from scratching their names on buses, to producing hi-gloss coffee table books for the culture crowd that hasn't cut its ties with the streets it came from.



All these works are available to buy, or you can commission Chumpsy and Udder Boy to display their mad skillz on your shop front or in the corridor of your local night club.

The Joy of Art

WebsterGotts are artists. This is how art makes them feel.

All Artists Have Both

Tomorrow there is a very important symposium. "Everything You Wanted To Know About Live Art But Were Afraid To Ask... is a day of information and advice about Live Art aimed at recent graduates, emergent artists, and anybody who is interested in finding out more about Live Art." This kind of event is vital for all performance artists and anyone interested in Live Art.

WebsterGotts are well known for their advocacy of Live Art Symposia. They would recommend that anyone who can go, does, as there are many prominent and inspiring Artists talking, particularly Franko B and our favourite Lisa Watts. It is a crying shame that WebsterGotts are unable to attend tomorrow's event. However, in their absence, WebsterGotts pray that somebody will ask the most important burning question that haunts Live Art in these dark times.

"Do ALL Live Artists have both Male and Female genital organs?"

Observe these detailed studies of the different kinds of Live Artists. All appear to have developed extra reproductive glands of the opposite sex, the further they have sunk into the world of Live Art.

Consider all the different species of Live Artist;

The Screaming Angst-Ridden Naked Girl Who Covers Herself In Paint


The Wild-Haired Bearded American Who Stands Next To Tables


The Angry Political-Protest-as-Live-Art Loudmouth Know-it-All


The Middle Aged Dancer Who Cries and Gives You Pathetic Gifts


The Socially Repellent Recluse Who Locks Himself Up and Documents The Same Thing Every Day For a Year


The Artist Who Actually Has Mental Problems and Thinks it's Clever to Shit on a Floor and Make People Watch



Of course, the whole point of Live Art and Performance Art is to make the audience feel as uncomfortable and confused as possible. Perhaps this is why the true Live Artist has evolved to possess both sets of genitals.

A Graves Mistake

WebsterGotts went to The Graves Gallery in Sheffield today. The Graves Gallery is situated above the City Library, and there are many steps to climb to this filthy gallery.

Like many other libraries, the Sheffield City Library has loads of quotes smeared all over the walls, telling us how great libraries are. Amongst others, there are quotes from; Albert Einstein, Samuel Johnson, Michael Palin and of course The Manic St. Preachers.

WebsterGotts were utterly distraught and horrified to discover a quote from 'Anonymous' nestling amongst these pillars of culture;



How could the Graves Gallery allow such foul base filth to be daubed across the walls of this prestigious public building? Is it no longer safe for our children in public?

Further outrage was to be forced onto the unsuspecting library goer, in the form of public health and safety advice posters, offering the following information;



Breathless and shaking with rage, WebsterGotts finally managed to get to the Graves Gallery featured exhibition; Lady Mary Wortley Montagu: An Extraordinary 18th Century Woman. This Lady is described as being a prolific writer and traveller, who was a contemporary of Alexander Pope, and also strove to introduce Smallpox inoculation to Britain. What this exhibition actually revealed, was that she was merely a loudmouth gossip and total ugly bitch, whose colourful use of the English language was shockingly offensive and a very real danger to our children's education.



Here you can see her moronic writing style makes no sense. And should not be so highly regarded. Honestly Graves, what were you thinking?

Art Sheffield 08

A few months ago, Sheffield Contemporary Art Forum (SCAF), a group who co-ordinate and promote art events in Sheffield, asked WebsterGotts for a small portfolio of work. We assumed that this interest in our artwork might possibly lead to an approach from SCAF to include us in the prestigious Art Sheffield 08.

We recently received a letter from SCAF explaining that our proposal for Art Sheffield 08 was unaccepted. This was a surprise to us, as were unaware that we had put forward a proposal for Art Sheffield 08.

We captured the moment we found out we were not to be included in Art Sheffield 08 on a laptop camera.



We just don't understand why no-one takes our artwork seriously....

One Man's Vice Is Another Man's Balloon

This is the first ever post on The WebsterGotts Art Blog. Here is a picture of a balloon.