Monday, May 18, 2009

The Beards Are Back

It has been a while since the last beard update but worry not, your favorite hirsute heros have been growing hard and showing off their orange chin plumages all over town.

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The last few weeks have been emotional and itchy, resulting in a near shaving incident. However, disaster was averted with some honest support and encouragement between contestants via text message:

Gotts: I am so close to shaving my beard off. Please advise me. Give me guidance!
Webster: Don't be a FUCKING wimp! Hows that for guidance?
Gotts: Not good enough! Think it's gonna come off!
Webster: No think of the blog. Come on, we need to make them impressive or its all for nothing.

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As you can see the advice worked, although Gotts's new found determination is owed to more than a few positive words from one man. After resigning himself to a hairy life of celibacy, Gotts saw a light at the end of the tunnel when he received some female attention from a young lady in a bar, and this was in no doubt due to his overgrown face carpet. In fact, the compliments did not stop there. Another romantically persuaded filly described Gotts's beard as "distinguished", and he was rewarded for his determination.

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The progress in the beards is obvious with Gotts leading the way in length and Webster fighting back with good old fashioned bushiness. Webster's bushiness is due to a change in trimming tactics i.e. no trimming what so ever resulting in an itchy hairy neck. This has proven popular with the ever demanding public.
Quote; "Growing your neck beard is the difference between you looking like a man with a beard, and a sailor".
Public opinion generally favours Webster's beard. As some idiot in a bar surmised when informed of our beard-off; "He (Webster) is DICKING you!". WebsterGotts understood this to mean the gentleman preferred the aesthetic qualities of Webster's chin rug.

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As the famous saying goes, "When the growing gets tough, the tough get growing", and despite many hairy tribulations, WebsterGotts are persevering. Pride must triumph over discomfort, and this pearl of wisdom passed down by Gotts's Father states; "A man must suffer for his beard". And suffer they will.

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